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After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. Its more potent because they have seen struggles in their life, and within that perspective, they still acknowledge the effort I have put into the achievement as deserving of recognition. that he harrassed them or . Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. The phrase, in my belief, implies my contribution as a parent. But this seems less common. Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. I am trying very, very hard not to implode. And, here are the respectful replies to respond with: 1. Based on the situation and who says this, heres a list of better responses to pick. A strong argument is a solid one. All rights reserved. I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). I can make it possible only because you give me hope. I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . Its obviously a powerful word. A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. When somebody says that you are wrong: "You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." To each his own. A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? 1 y. I am very proud of you too; we all are. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Maybe some people act in a way that makes you upset they're doing that on behalf of your country, but you just remember that's not the reason you're proud to be from where you are. Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. To me, if someone I respect said they were proud of me, would mean much more and have a much better and more positive effect on me than if they said Im really happy for you because the feeling of someone being proud for me includes me, my efforts and achievements, and unites me with that person who said it at the moment of saying it. Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". Required fields are marked *. You reject that person's generosity. Talents Compliments. Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! 8. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. I teach high school. but with my Mothers words of wisdom always echoing. "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . Interesting perspective. PJ. implying a mentor relationship. Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. Second, he must know you well. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. You had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this you pond-bottom suckers.. Better Responses 2023. To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? Refresher workshop for P.E.T. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. I realized that I needed to open myself up to friends and partners as well. If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. As soon as you break . Thanks, buddy! So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? Like I wasnt doing enough before? Whatever influence we had on the person, or information we gave the person, what they did with it is their accomplishment not ours. I feel virtually murderous towards them. Especially when your best friend is saying You make me proud, they arent just complimenting you. 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. I have deep concerns if children crave to hear "I'm proud of you" because they want to know that their parents approve of them - of their behaviour, of their decisions in life. If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. 2. Go To Homepage. Its 10 years later, and I hope that, by now, you have told your children, if you mean it, that you are proud of them. I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. 1. PJ, I will give my thoughts on your post at the end of my post. This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. It is arrogant. It will show your appreciation for their words, it will help to strengthen your relationship, and it will create a positive and constructive environment. I know that it is in the nature of the internet that you can confirm, and get consensus about most any belief you have, but, if that is what has happened here, Im OK with it. 2. If you're an ex-smoker, you can draw from your own experience of quitting. And why should I stop using this phrase? Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? Because of this, it might feel awkward to say "I'm proud of you" to a friend or colleague, even if you mean it. I have always struggled with this word. If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, You cannot be proud of anything you were born with, only with what you achieve. Just let them be. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration and respect for you and that can be a powerful thing. Set realistic goals. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. Encouraging children and others to be proud of themselves is healthier. Initially this sit didnt sit well with me. Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. But I would also add another category: people who know you well *because* they have worked with you and even for you for a long time. 11. The Proud Boys . I was very irritated and angry. Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. But it had a very positive impact on this one child. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. What is BBC Future? Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. 20 of the Best Encouraging Words that Hold any Caregivers Up 06 "Tim, I keep wondering what Dad would say if he were alive right now. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. 16. The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. 3. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. . There may be times when he gets some details wrong, but no one is taking score about who gets the fine points right most of the time. That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. You certainly will. May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. 3. Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. 1. It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. She reciprocated. If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. You know that I'm bound to see you. It does not take it away from them. It makes a difference I think. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. This is a very interesting discussion for me. What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? 8. No, I am more proud of you, too. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. But is that really very useful? But arguing about what words mean is pointless- meanings vary. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. Thank you for your kind words.. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. Great to hear this. So as you can likely see, when people say they're "proud" of someone else's accomplishments, they're really saying they are entitled to some honor or credit in the accomplishing of those accomplishments; and when people say they are "humbled" by other people recognizing them for their accomplishments, what they really mean is they . Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. . Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. They know I mean: I am so impressed by what you did, and proud to be able to call myself your mother. If I said this to a friend it would mean the same thing. Pretty much an entire generation of American kids heard it from Mr. Rogers. I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. Proverbs 29:23 A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor. When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. Children who are continually praised, or told "Im proud of you" may not believe their parent. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). I wouldnt get anxious about it. Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. (a short read). 2. While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. 7. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. And guess what? You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). Look him in the eyes and smile. Thank you. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. The reader alone is responsible for any action they take as a result of reading this website. I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Its probably contempt and anger. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". It may not display this or other websites correctly. Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! In this research, children of parents who never said "I'm proud of you" were significantly more likely to contemplate, plan or attempt suicide. This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. Friend: "At least you have a job or daughter.". To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. Lost Index. To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. I am here for the same reason. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. "Be proud of your scars. No. The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? Happy I did it, finally! "How long have you been sober?". For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. A friend persevered in getting her masters degree after running into academic trouble as an undergrad. 2. . Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? But the Bible warns us against a self-centered, egotistical pride that says, "Look at me; look at . If parents don't 'approve' of their child, then they disapprove. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. 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