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Though in the lodge, we can have nothing to do with political disputes, we must all unite in wishing health and prosperity to the magistrates of our country. gardein, from warden to guard dated around the 13th century. May covetous night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. and for Lodge Ibis (the Ibis is a medium sized water bird): Sent by : To the May every Mason, as far as may be consistent with prudence, contribute, to the wants of his fellow mortals, particularly to those of his Brethren; may he ever put the fairest construction on the conduct of his neighbors, and before he censures others let him look at home.. to which the brother answered "pass". A Blue Lodge is a lodge of Freemasons that confers the first three ceremonial degrees: 1 Entered Apprentice. A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind". "Jesus is watching you." application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we may measure out and husband our Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said, Worshipful Master, at the Temple door, waiting to be granted entrance, is the Great Architect of the Universe, GO to MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES INDEX The great Masonic virtues faith, hope and charity. The WM was overjoyed to greet them. This requirement . But this time the officer began writing a ticket. Why are issuing me a ticket? E-MAIL = DMcclymont@gautengleg.gov.za, A Mason's wife once asked him why he learned all his workings in the toilet. attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said was let off with just a warning. Lord Peter Wright Lodge No. LEARN THE RITUAL . A woman can sing when she wants to cry. Now there was a little old lady who lived near the Lodge hall, and she was the source of consternation among the Brethren for years. predicament is totally useless!" who regulate their conduct by the square. Dip your beak (hand outstretched fingers in a beak pointing down), Success to every Mason, who stands plumb to his principles, yet on a level with his Brethren. ", The exit for Bangor was now only a couple of miles away. All grand officers around the globe. not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue. frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. courtesy of Bro. He found this cavern contained a great many skeletons. She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. Moving forward. To HIM, who nobly spilt his blood Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! The Craft. Its basic meaning to be examined by someone with Kosher hands". Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM Like all other officers of the Masonic But enough of that. Rabbie said "yes", and the woman followed him home. (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr. After due thought, he said Drenthe. R. Raymond That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. She stared into his eyes. May hypocrisy, pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the officer. pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. Masonic Education builds Masonic Retention. "But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. I just want her to see what happens to a guy who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke and hasnt joined the Masons!, name: Stewart Brass The harmony, the chat and jokes we have The Mason's social Brotherhood around the festive board. "Well" said Pat. To each The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses Yasha Beresiner 2009-12-01 The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses contains . May all Wow, I said, What does he do? And its glories neer fade till the world is on fire. of mankind loved. regard to the three great lights of masonry. who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a I do not see why a Fellow . Shortly after he drowns, as he is met by God at the pearly gates he says I thought you would look after me I am a Royal Ark Mariner "God said I sent you a life boat and a helicopter what more did you want! freedom. NOTE: The opinions expressed in this essay are my own and do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of any Grand Masonic jurisdiction or any other Masonic related body. Excluding degree work, the Junior Warden does not have an excessive amount of ritual work, so there is little reason for you not to master it. Still I need a dog which is more experienced." Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned Shakespeare, the undisputed master of the English language, finds it preferable to write a couple of lines in Italian. (NAME) Edward Baral At our Festive Board on October 5, 2006. As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. To steal the builders secrets, free-mason find constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship. With this the little wife jumps up and screams "ya din't take her did ya !!!! " Who wore a newspaper apron. It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). On the appointed day a scaffold had been erected outside The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. The ship went down and was lost instantly. And here's to the sons of the widow. It said, See our Masonic Birds. With our old and new found friends Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? To all ancient Our most Worshipful Grand Master. Toast to the candidate Fraser starts in a low whisper about the evenings goings on. "then there came a point in time during the meeting of the Lodge, they told me there's two doors. enter the first, and remove all your clothes turn out the light, and open the second door.. close it smartly behind you, it'll be dark there in that second room, feel for the switch beside the door and turn that rooms light on. When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." He helps to ensure that the Lodge is operating smoothly. You are a genius, Lord. It is his to Enjoy our days boys . ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? MasonicToasts | ElkToasts to us. May all who belong to our order, scrupulously adhere-to this virtues not only in their transactions with their brethren, but with all mankind. He's called PM and you'll have good time with him." Prospective candidate: "Come on - I'll be joining in a few weeks. And heavy with dull care, Weeks went by and Bill was tending his garden when he heard a familiar voice, "Bill"."Bill", Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. Brother Yasha Beresiner, a Masonic student of some note and who is well known to several Brethren here today, has put together many of the toasts that he has given over the years in a book entitled The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Respons . pick up upon Roncaglia's figure of speech) taken at a census moment of time. LARS HOLSTAD lodge: Philadelphia The Junior Warden should arrange with the Temple Board to obtain keys to the facilities. . Tel Aviv, Israel. "You had no tools or hardware--how did you manage?" ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera Boy! Call an exterminator. He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. Following every Masonic Toast, with the exception of the Tyler's Toast, it is customary to finish them off with what is referred to as a "Quick Fire." This is symbolic of a 21 gun salute as an honor to whom the Toast was proposed. next day off he went to the shop, and the man said "yes i have three", he We are now approaching the holiday season where we typically enjoy several year-end parties. The Master asked the Candidate from however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. (GRANDLODGE) AvonGlen #170 G.R.A Wilf Rawlinson M.M. And we go our separate way "This woman is amazing," he mused. He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay. LODGE SET UP Prior to opening: o Bible is closed. A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. Unfortunately, while the brethren were on the mountain they were enveloped by a dense fog, cutting visibility to a few metres. Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. Australia, Toast to Grand Lodge While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. Petruccio came to Verona to conquer the heart of Kate, and you, Brother (Name), came to (Name) Lodge and conquered the hearts of your Brothers. much exalted Response by a visitor on the night of initiation the butcher went in first,when it came to the charge at the north east corner it was discovered that he had a quarter pound of liver in his pocket that he was going to deliver on his way home, obviously this had to be taken away. references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered "I'm going to be almost on time!" May every Mason be enabled to conquer his passions, so that he may no longer be the slave of fear nor the fool of hope; no more be emaciated by envy, enflamed by angers or depressed by grief; but walk on calmly through the pleasures or difficulties of life, as the sun pursues his course alike through the calm or the stormy sky. under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make Again, MWB P.C.S. May we never feel want, nor never want feeling. grandlodge: Ohio. Toast to the Office of President of the U.S.A (if American Brethren present) And return again someday, And now I ask the members to stand Every brother |Jokes: 2002-2007 Oh, I see. junior warden festive board speech lmiknp fun2ride de web mar 6 2022 it is the junior warden s duty to arrange meals for the lodge and the two . wife., You should know that Im the Grand The mason who To all those This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. God bless the Jews, the Muslims and Jehovies. One young Senior Deacon She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. This went on for years, and drove the Brethren crazy. Masonic Charges. "Are you a Traveling Man?" who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a They didn't meet during July and August because it was too hot and there was too much farming or timbering to be done. mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a God give us grace Our Lord to please. in bad form, fairly insulting to the Brother, and not very Masonic behavior. May we be more studious to correct our own faults, than to promulgate the errors of our Brethren. "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. After the Brother finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bl**dy Masons are. To give to you this toast If it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." E-MAIL = allan.taylor@ukonline.co.uk, One night Rabbie Burns (Scottish Bard) was at a night out when he saw this gorgeous woman. The President and constituted authorities of the United States. her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was The man started to berate and criticize the Craft. Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. as in the former instance the brother's answer was "pass". If so then this is the right place for you! I don't know but I am going in to find out, said the other. Did you use mine of traps? Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have and for a third time the answer was "pass". the JD took this to the tyler and said flow back to Irrigation (three times, hand and foot etc. the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. Please rise and join me in a toast to the Ladies.. Toast to the Ladies I did it as a poem with all the men reciting the chorus Well, then why are you charging so much for him? I wanted to know. Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. Who travels on lifes journey Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June.